July 7, 2011


These last couple months have been been anything but normal.  Things were busy with school, baseball and life in general.  Things were good.  But like I've mentioned before, I had begun to notice that things were a little off with Hayley.  I chaulked it up to her allergies and moved up her yearly allergy appointment.  We forged ahead and looked to the fun things we had planned for the the end of the school year and the coming summer. 

Well, those "allergies" got worse and she began to run a fever.  And then there was that day she was positive for strep.  And then there was the pneumonia.  And the hospital.  And...you know the rest of the story...

I have to tell you.  I'm exhausted.  Emotionally.  Mentally.  Physically.  The thought of one of the other kids getting sick makes me anxious.  When Hayley tells me she doesn't feel well lately, my heart drops.  It's seems like her road to recovery is never ending at times.  I'm constantly worried.  Eh, worried is a bad place to be.         

Since that first doctor's visit when Hayley had strep; we've been back and forth to the pediatrician seven times in less than four weeks.  She's seen an asthma and allergy specialist once.  She's had four chest X-rays and scheduled to have another next week.  She's had her blood drawn three times.  She's had two IV's.  She's been allergy tested.  She's been on numerous medications.  She's been diagnosed with asthma.  I've watched my daughter be poked, I've watched her cry and I've watched her bleed.  I've watched her struggle to breathe.  I've held back my own tears to keep her from panicking even more. 

And now, I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this new part of Hayley's life.  It's completely managable, but it's new.  And honestly, the last thing I want/need is whitty banter and jokes.  It doesn't help, it's incredibly frustrating and hurtful. 

And you know, Hayley and I didn't get to finish all those fun things we had planned.  Ryan and Jack have missed out too!  And Jonas!  No end of the year school party!  I was on the party planning committee!  No special baseball party at the big kids field!  No last day of school!  We've missed lots of sunny days outside.  We need a vacation!  Everything was left so unfinished and summer just started without us.     

Thankfully, Hayley is doing a lot better.  She's still dealing with fatigue and the coughing, but that pneumonia kicked her butt.  We have a better understanding of what's going on and how to deal with everything.  We've just started the new treatments and we have to wait about a month to see how she's doing.  We'll go back to see the Asthma/Allergy Specialist for another evaluation and go from there. 

So, for now, we can get out more enjoy the Summer sun...when it comes out.  We live in Western Washington, the Sun is an elusive creature.

1 comment:

Drea said...

I'm so sorry you guys are going through this! Hayley must be such a trooper! I hope things start calming down and looking up for you ASAP.

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